Gaslighting vs. Education

I am writing this post because ever since the election for the organization of an official ACC, we have heard an unending flood of cries of gaslighting and disinformation. The difference I would offer is that unlike the corporation vying for control of your property, we always offer visible proof and urge you to read and research on your own.

On the other hand the corporation waves off all criticism, places blame on everyone they can but themselves (have you ever heard them admit to a mistake?) and offer no proof but the words of a single individual whom we are meant to put our absolute trust in without any questions. The latest cries of “illegal” or “invalid” election on the 23rd are perfect examples. No proof, just their words.

Today we will all be getting postcards notifying us of their corporate sudden board election and no doubt decrying the grassroots effort to take back control of our properties. I urge everyone to read the CC&Rs before voting and vote with those in mind. Why? Because If you don’t protect your rights, you cannot trust anyone else to either. To whom do those rights mean the most? My answer is, my property, my rights.

Kim Boyer has spent time in her group ironically screaming “Gaslighting!!” while doing the very thing she is accusing those who supported Amendment 5 of doing. Gaslighting was a popular word last year and many have adopted it to make claims against anyone with a differing opinion. We see that frequently around the country in politics; if you don’t agree with me then I will call you one of a few damaging names, or accuse you of gaslighting.

But sometimes someone is just trying to educate. and after a while that starts to look like lecturing. So it is prudent to ask, “When is something gaslighting and when is it education? “

Distinguishing Gaslighting from Education

Definitions

• Gaslighting: This is a psychological tactic of manipulation where the goal is to make someone doubt their own memories, perceptions, or sanity through persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and falsehoods. It’s a play to destabilize and delegitimize an individual’s belief in their own experiences.
• Education: At its core, education is about the dissemination or acquisition of knowledge, skills, values, and habits. The aim here is enlightenment, fostering understanding, and cultivating learning.

Intent

• Gaslighting: The undercurrent here is malicious. The objective is control, manipulation, and dominance by making the target question their own feelings and perceptions.
• Education: The ethos of education is empowerment. It’s about equipping individuals with knowledge, instilling skills, and promoting growth.

Outcome

• Gaslighting: It leads to the recipient feeling a disconcerting mix of confusion, anxiety, and self-doubt. The psychological repercussions can be profound.
• Education: Done right, it crafts well-informed, competent, and holistic individuals, enhancing their understanding and boosting their confidence.

Methods

• Gaslighting: It’s marked by deceit, inconsistency, and misinformation.
• Education: Rooted in facts, empirical evidence, and structured pedagogy.

Response

• Gaslighting: It induces defensiveness, unease, and a questioning of one’s own reality.
• Education: Invites engagement, inquiry, and the practical application of acquired knowledge.

Relationship Dynamics

• Gaslighting: Here, there’s a palpable power imbalance. The gaslighter assumes a position of dominance.
• Education: Ideally, it’s a relationship forged on trust, mutual respect, and a common end goal of learning.